An Essay on Life and Consciousness

Hello! What follows – to be put on here gradually over the next couple of weeks – are some scattered thoughts about entropy, consciousness, religion and philosophy. None of it is really original to me – a lot of this is pretty much book notes cribbed from various sources, popular books written across various disciplines. It’s pretty crass, in two senses. First of all, I use a couple of rude words here and there, which I hope you’ll excuse, but I’m just trying to get the ideas across as idiomatically as possible. And second, the science – and the religion, too – is pretty basic and non-technical and, I’m sure, full of errors and inconsistencies. What’s written here is really just a first draft, or more precisely, an attempt to get some scattered thoughts in order.

I’ll print the thoughts here 5 sections at a time. So stay tuned for further posts. I will likely edit it as I go along, too. I welcome your comments and observations. Thanks!! Your compatriot in the search for meaning, – Bob

  1. Life is hard, and consciousness is hard. Cats are probably right to be so pissed off all the time.

2. The universe, as you know, is made up of vast areas of nothingness, and a few scattered lumpy bits.

The universe is interesting in the places where it is a bit lumpy. Amidst the vast, unvariegated, endless realm of space, there are supernovas, planets, asteroids, human beings and broccoli. All of this “stuff” involves atoms clumped together more than they typically are in empty space.

The thing is, space tends to get even more non-lumpy over time, so human beings and broccoli are batting against the curve, so to speak. Or to put it a little more scientifically: the fact that there are these lumpy bits of matter is challenged by the second law thermodynamics, otherwise known as entropy.

The law of entropy basically says, to put it crassly, “left to its own devices, time turns everything to shit.” Given enough time, the lumpy, clumpy bits of matter are broken down, Sometimes people refer to entropy as “tending towards disorder”  because a piece of broccoli, with its ridges and curves, feels more ordered than the green, broccoli-flavored soup that broccoli would become when it was liquified. And all of us lumpy bits, over time, tend towards the soup.  Supernovas, planets, asteroids, human beings and broccoli are all statistically headed towards that vast, unvariegated, endless realm of space, our atoms spread out wider than they are in our beautiful bodies. We all tend towards the perfect distribution of matter and energy.

3. Time’s arrow is important to entropy. It’s not the other way around – vast, endless space is not tending towards gathering its atoms together to form broccoli. Time is messing with all these beautifully lumpy forms and smoothing them out, making all the atoms evenly distributed. Time doesn’t do this right away (you can keep your lunch plans). We’re talking about tendencies and averages here. Given enough time, the universe gets more and more regular, atoms perfectly spaced out. WE are gradually heading towards an equidistant distribution of matter – which, from our point of view, is quite boring.

Of course, “shit” and “boring” are subjective terms from the human perspective. Indeed, another word for unvariegated space, other than “shit”, might be “perfection”. Systems tend towards a perfect distribution of matter. But what this “perfection” means, when it comes to the distribution of atoms, is a few particles floating about here and there, not clumping together. If a house party were perfectly distributed, every guest would be six feet away from the nearest guest in every direction – no guests sitting next to each other, no one closer to each other than anyone else, like the dots on square dots graph paper. Which might be kinda fun for our antisocial friends who hate house parties, come to think of it – but let’s not get distracted. In the wide-open universe, if all the relatively few atoms that are out there were perfectly distributed, there are very few atoms relative to the amount of space that’s out there. So a perfect distribution ends up being a few random swirling atoms, far apart from each other.

4. “Clumping together” is how matter happens, how stuff appears in the universe. There are – fortunately for us – forces of attraction that allow this to happen, like gravity and electromagnetism. These forces help to complicate the natural flow of entropy, which, left to its own devices, would turn everything to an un-lumpy, perfectly distributed nothingness.  

5. Given enough time, entropy will eventually “win” over the forces of attraction. You’d best cancel your lunch plans sixty billion years from now; they ain’t happening.

Gravity, electromagnetism and the strong nuclear force may appear to us as being really, really strong. They can hold stuff together for an impressive amount of time. But forces are dependent on various factors like distance and mass. Entropy is a physical law: it just keeps on happening, all the time. You could say entropy waits inexorably for the moment when the laws of attraction trip up, and then, poof, things tend slightly again towards a diffuse tapioca. Attractive forces can hold things together for millennia, but they just need to make one “mistake” and entropy will swoop in, and turn everything towards the evenly distributed perfection, that vast boringness that awaits all.

Again, entropy doesn’t do this all at once, but haltingly, bit by bit over vast amounts of time. Regions of space usually take a long while to go from lumpy, diverse somethings to the almost-nothing of tapioca, diffuse perfection. Lumps bump into other lumps, new forms get made. A planet falls out of one orbit and then, a few million years later, gets pulled into a red supergiant. A whole lot can happen in constrained space. Here on earth, which is always constrained by gravity and other forces, there will be a whole lot happening for a long time. But gradually, inexorably, over time and all the time, the universe tends towards a vast nothingness. Good luck, player one.



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The Way of the Magi

follow
a star
follow
a book
follow
an exercise regimen
follow
2007 Toyota Corolla in the slow lane
follow
your gut
follow
your heart
follow
12,000-year-old Buddhist monk from Watertown
follow
the arrows
follow
a direct order from your superior
follow
the Chicago Manual of Style
follow
the road

and then

go home by another way

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Escalator to the Stars

I bought an escalator to the stars,
But it only went as far as Mars.
I don’t think I got my money’s worth –
It’s not as beautiful as Earth.

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Here We Come a-Wassailing

Here we come a-wassailing Among the leaves so green; Here we come a-wand’ring So fair to be seen.

Love and joy come to you, And to you your wassail too; And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year And God send you a Happy New Year.

Put a penny in our cup, and we will sing to you; put a dollar in our cup and we’ll stop singing too;

Love and joy come to you, And to you your wassail too; And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year And God send you a Happy New Year.

Our clothes, they come from outlet malls, our stick it comes from ground, give us something good to eat, and we’ll make a joyful sound,

Love and joy come to you, And to you your wassail too; And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year And God send you a Happy New Year.

We are children of your street, and neighbors of your home, never leave a tired soul frozen and alone,

Love and joy come to you, And to you your wassail too; And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year And God send you a Happy New Year.

Bring us some hot chocolate, and we will drink it up, don’t turn away a visitor who holds an empty cup,

Love and joy come to you, And to you your wassail too; And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year And God send you a Happy New Year.

A blessing on all you and yours, and the little children all, a blessing on the Christ child whe’er She come to call,

Love and joy come to you, And to you your wassail too; And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year And God send you a Happy New Year.

(note: for today’s poem, I rewrote a few verses to the timeless carol “Here We Come aWassailing”, sometimes called “Here We Come a Caroling”. I hope carol aficianados will forgive me the sacrilige. I was looking at it, in fondness for the tradition of “wassail”, where carolers would go from home to home and get treats or money…and was thinking about possibly singing it as a service or a carol-sing at the congregation. And the verses seem a bit – well, carols often feel antiquated, even though the lyrics tend to change slightly every century or two. But “give blessings to the master and mistress” is language that falls a bit heavy these days; no one has a butler anymore (for the record, I never did); and perhaps most troubling at all “we are not daily beggars” just feels, to me, a little dismissive of the poor. So I kept the first verse and the chorus, and in the subsequent verses of this version tried to utterly modernize it, while retaining something of the bawdy nature of it – a bawdy nature tempered, as it is in the orginal, with both sentimental and religious undertones. And keeping it, I hope, fun to sing. As you may know we UUs are agnostic and theist and atheist and more – I kept the chorus as it is, for tradition’s sake. And anyway this is just one version, verses come and go. Feel free to use, adapt, or utterly disregard)

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The Game

1. Gets Out of Bed. – An unusually aggressive move for Janis, who usually opens with “Stays in bed a little longer.” While he rarely goes all the way to “stays in bed all day.” (cf. Ono-Lennon 1969) This is clearly an opening that means business.

2. Sits on Couch and Stares into Space. – Something of a return to form here, balancing the hopeful opening with some classic conservatism. But it could be a ruse; may be setting up a multi-move attack at this point.

3. Stare into space some more. – Not a ruse. Following in the general vein of Janis, Prague 1996 and Janis, Altoona 2008.

4. Puts Bread in the Toaster. – Now we’re out of the gate. Likely will pair this with “gets some jam” (Shafhaz 1938) or even the inspired “softens butter in the microwave.” (Ferenz-Allinsky 1982)

5. Checks His Email. – Interesting. Janis clearly trying to open up on two fronts here.

6. Goes to Basement to Bring Up Laundry. – Here we see potential genius at work, a three-pronged attack within the first 6 moves. Hearkens back to other multi-weaponed openings (Jordan 1995, Great 331b).

7. Goes Back to Bed. – Oh dear. A heartbreaking blunder (Ding 2024). And the toast is on the line at this point.

8. Checks his email. – And the toast is cold. The championship will wait another day; congratulations to Phen, an 11 year old prodigy in Indonesia who had the world’s best day on this one. Janis finished a respectable 4,383,043,458th after all the moves played out.

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Three Vignettes from the Richest Man in the Whole World

I.

When the cat – who is, by affiliation, YOUR cat –
bounds toward the door from a high tree,
looking for all the world like glory,
(and there was a moment there, as usual, you worried
he may have been a goner, but then, aren’t we all just
goners in the making),
and you look across the winter yard, branches expansive with air,
all of it pulsing with the inevitable possibility of this moment

II.

The other day it was raining and warm, a breeze from the West
and the feel of the air was transplanted from the time
well one of the times
that I walked across England
and I though, “my God, even the weather is mine.”

III.

You, asleep beside, and me,
on the edge of the whole world

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The Ghost Pirate Construction Crews of Connecticut

I tip my hat to the famed
ghost pirate construction crews of Connecticut.
Many is the mere mortal who gets flustered and angry
at the site of abandoned cones and lane closures,
and nary a soul in site (but for the legions
of cars upon cars) but not I.
Not I, for I tip my hat to the famed
ghost pirate construction crews of Connecticut.
When it rains, or is threatening
to rain, or on Sundays, or at 8:01 on the Merritt –
the Merritt witching hour –
the spectral roadsmiths take to the blacktop. Neither snow,
nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom, can keep this CT ghostal service
from their appointed grounds.
Pickaxe in bony hand, they go about their unearthly labors
as unwatched and unknown
as the longest serving haunt of the lowest basement
of the DMV. I do not see them, hear only
the forlorn groaning of the Waterbury wind.
Whatever they are doing, it serves nothing to commute
the period of my imprisonment on the eternal chain gang of I-95.
But no matter: I tip my hat to the famed
ghost pirate construction crews of Connecticut,
and pray my constitution holds firm another day.

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Layers

In winter I like to wear layers:

A layer of joy, close to the skin, and warming the heart;

A layer of melancholy – which, contrary to what you might think, carries a welcome snugness, and memory, and is companion to compassion;

A magical layer of whimsy (though I’m not sure where I got it);

A layer of fire. Not taking that one off anytime soon – the world ignited it, but now the world’s not taking it off me;

I have a layer of hope I wear sometimes – though it can be thin, when necessary, or left in the drawer;

I have a layer of kindness, that was given me long, long ago;

I have layers of worry, but I wear them loose, these days;

And sometimes I take all the layers off, and dance naked in the rain. But it’s nice to dress up for the brisk air, and dress down to meet myself again.

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No Poem Today

No poem today
It’s cold, it’s rainy,
and I don’t care to wrest
meaning from it all.

Alone and full,
I draw down the eye-curtains,
let the honeyed and convivial dark
be the universe for me.

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35 degrees

I have learned, at last, to appreciate 35 degrees,
not as an intrepid explorer on the world’s smallest Everest,
but as a middle-aged Dad,
the happy remnants of several good meals lining his waist,
his dog pulling him past the melting white lumps on the sidewalk,
not as an achievement,
not as an overcoming,
not even as the manageable dissonance on the way to back to true home,
but as right now,
this place,
and the day in which I live.

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