Physicists were floored last week
when, working through the mathematics of a few kinks
in quantum irregularity,
the equations, all of a sudden, proved the existence of God.

God, it turned out, is five-foot-seven,
and female, though he wears a goatee.
He created the heavens and the earth, and also, apparently,
three more things – the equations don’t yet say what.
God is not “human” as we commonly understand it:
he walks with a limp, for one thing, and speaks Malay.
He is madly in love with us, unless it’s gout.

With nothing left to do, the physicists
ate their bologna sandwiches in the cafeteria
and went out for a little walk,
because it was, now that you mention it,
a fine day.