My anxiety has a friend, named Gilbert.
Gilbert is a good friend.
Whenever my anxiety is stressed about something that he –
my anxiety – cannot handle,
right now, anyway,
Gilbert takes it on for himself. 
It doesn’t matter if it’s large or small.
Gilbert’s got it.
That’s not to say Gilbert will always manage to solve
everything right away, or anything like that.
That’s an awful lot to ask of Gilbert.
Still, what a friend!
My anxiety can rest assured
that Gilbert will step in
and do his very best.

My anxiety can’t leave *everything* to Gilbert.
Just this morning, my anxiety was asking whether
my trash cans might have
rolled out into the street,
and my anxiety and I thought,
“well, ol’ Gilbert’s got it”,
but then we thought better about it
and took to the window.
Turns out the trash cans were fine.
We don’t know if it was Gilbert.

I do know Gilbert can be relied upon,
as per the terms and conditions listed above,
for any problem under the sun.
Some would say, Gilbert is pretty bad at self-care!
And that’s fair.
He’s just that friend
that is always trying to help
to the very best of his abilities
whether he’s the person of the job
or just the wrong person in the right-enough place.
We love Gilbert for that.

You may be asking
whether Gilbert is imaginary, or even
whether Gilbert is God.
Don’t worry, it’s ok to ask!
My anxiety and I discuss things like that all the time.
Sometimes we even whisper –
and I know this is a bit mind-boggling –
that Gilbert could be you!

All I know is
I’m glad I have two friends, or three:
a friend like my anxiety,
a friend like you,
and a friend like Gilbert.