1. Gets Out of Bed. – An unusually aggressive move for Janis, who usually opens with “Stays in bed a little longer.” While he rarely goes all the way to “stays in bed all day.” (cf. Ono-Lennon 1969) This is clearly an opening that means business.

2. Sits on Couch and Stares into Space. – Something of a return to form here, balancing the hopeful opening with some classic conservatism. But it could be a ruse; may be setting up a multi-move attack at this point.

3. Stare into space some more. – Not a ruse. Following in the general vein of Janis, Prague 1996 and Janis, Altoona 2008.

4. Puts Bread in the Toaster. – Now we’re out of the gate. Likely will pair this with “gets some jam” (Shafhaz 1938) or even the inspired “softens butter in the microwave.” (Ferenz-Allinsky 1982)

5. Checks His Email. – Interesting. Janis clearly trying to open up on two fronts here.

6. Goes to Basement to Bring Up Laundry. – Here we see potential genius at work, a three-pronged attack within the first 6 moves. Hearkens back to other multi-weaponed openings (Jordan 1995, Great 331b).

7. Goes Back to Bed. – Oh dear. A heartbreaking blunder (Ding 2024). And the toast is on the line at this point.

8. Checks his email. – And the toast is cold. The championship will wait another day; congratulations to Phen, an 11 year old prodigy in Indonesia who had the world’s best day on this one. Janis finished a respectable 4,383,043,458th after all the moves played out.