MAN FLIES OVER MOUNTAIN, reads the headline,
in 316-pt font,
on page 1.
There is no room there for anything else,
even a story,
but on page 2 and following
an account is given
of a man who
(and this is a reminder),
FLEW
over a
MOUNTAIN.
Explanations were offered.
Some readers apparently
wanted to know how the food was
in economy class.
Also there was a 15 minute delay
before a HUMAN BEING FLEW OVER A MOUNTAIN.
At this stage it is unclear
whether he considered Sam and Frodo’s long walk into Mordor
or toasted Hiroshige’s health and fortune
or saw heaven on behalf of the thousand thousand landlocked generations,
or distracted himself with an app for that.
Icarus could not be reached for comment.