Your Monday Blessing: Third Sheep from the Left

The third sheep from the left is the holy child.
You can see her, in the frame of her mother’s camera,
at the heart of the heavens and the earth.
In her, the earliest secrets of love are revealed.
Before the stars were spoken into orbit,
her beauty was already making the rounds.

To touch the hem of her garment –
re-stitched in haste, and in preparation –
is to see God. Now, here,
the temporal representative of all that is sacred,
love’s pure light cast in a single lifetime,
has just stumbled into the Magi’s donkey
and both fell to the ground, giggling.
The Magi’s donkey is the holy child.

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After the Massacre: A Christmas Poem

 

When it was accomplished,
and Herod’s soldiers returned from Bethlehem,
a silence settled over the land like frost.
The odd wailing, like the purposeless wind.
And it came to pass in those days that a mother,
after her child was discarded, like offal,
lay cradled over it, a horizon.
She spoke to the angels,
“Grant to my child your tongues of fire,
else stay silent!”
And it rained all over Ramah.
It has rained since.

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Yes, I have Sought Salvation

Yes, I have sought salvation
from the window of the internet browser.
Just one more click, and that ought to fix
the need for one more click.

It takes no effort just to check
if happiness is at my fingertips, almost
none, just a sliver
of the weight of this moment,

the horrible, gaping, eternity of now.
There must be something worth reading here.
Beyond this waiting room
is only surgery.

I hear there’s something wicked in the news,
and if it gets any worse I may be redeemed
in my widening anger, my own preparing
for the worst.

There must be a picture that moves me.
There must be a product, a chuckle, a reason to care
that justifies my easy chair –
a thought, transmitted and transmuted, into pure grace.

Yes, I have sought salvation,
I, a sinner, poor in all things save coltan,
and every time I look online I find
more than enough rope to hang myself.

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& the band paraded out

(after Cavafy)

 

& the band paraded out of Congo Square,
marching to the midnight tolls,
the enslaved spirits
free for a time, between fourth and fifth,
between Rampart and the plantation.
The music drifted away, toward heaven,
outstripping the ears tied to the earth in rows.
You swear you heard it,
before the darkness was swept up, the plaza cleared
of all disorder. Be true to that oath. Be worthy
of this country of all your ghosts, shining land that never was,
this country that is leaving you.
& America is dead.
& America has died before, but resurrection
is not what you think. Listen, then,
and say a real goodbye to this dream.

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Your Monday blessing: trust

Not in the rulers of nations,
Not in the sale of the moment,
Not in my team, not in my tribe, not in my demographic.
Not in any theological formulation cleverly devised by man.
Not in the shotgun barrels of power, explosive and lifeless.
Not in my own strength.
Not in the will of the people.
Certainly not in any pretended sense of equanimity.
Not in my health.
Not in my holding it together.
Not in the latest polling data.
Not in any assurances of stability, spoken or null.

I put my faith in the something beautiful
That can only be found in the living day.
And, without knowing why, the spark in me
That rises in response.
And I further trust that, come tomorrow, there will very likely
Be something that needs doing.
And in my family, the ones whom I choose to love
Until there is no choice and no choosing, only the love.
And in all my relations.
And in my hot water bottle.
It is all enough, I trust, to see me through.

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Halloween Dream

It has been foretold
that you will enter an uncertainty, vast and deep –
a dark wood, unattempted yet in prose or rhyme –
armed only with an orange, plastic, pumpkin bucket.
Your parent or guardian
is in the distance somewhere, keeping an eye out, or perhaps
they have their own devices.

And as it must be, you tread on in the night, your little legs
encased in velour, your body propping up a costume
that was cherished once, and not so long ago,
before the weather revealed
how ill-suited you really were to such grandeur.

You will knock on a home – maybe it is your home, or maybe
you have no home to go to, anymore.
You will look up at the door, unmoving,
as solid as the absence of hope. You wait.
The door opens a crack, and then a yard.
From the blackness comes a form.
You lift, to the skies, your orange. plastic, pumpkin bucket.
It is, in the yearning moment, all you have.

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Blessed are the many, blessed are the one

Your Monday Blessing words this morning come from friend and colleague the Rev. Judith Walker-Riggs. These words were the chalice lighting words for Cairo Street Unitarian Chapel’s 2016 Academy Service, a service in memory of the Warrington Academy, the school the chapel started, which lasted from 1756 to 1782, and had several prominent tutors and students including Joseph Priestley. It was very special to open the service with her words, as Judith and I have both served as two of a few dozen ministers of the chapel in their proud 300-year-plus history. Here are her words, a blessing for us all:

O thou great source of life
Whom some call God, and others find
Too large to name at all,
We join with the Earth
And with each other
To recreate the human community
Over and over learning the value of love
May we give it frequently
And the strength of loyalty
May we remain loyal to those we love.
So may we
Different as we are
Find ourselves to be
Part of one great living mystery
For blessed is the one within the many
And blessed are many who are one.

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Poem by John Aikin, M.D.

Your Monday Blessing today comes from the pen of John Aikin, M.D. (1747 – 1822) the subject of this year’s Warrington Academy Service at Cairo Street Unitarian Chapel. This is from his “Epistle to the Rev. W Enfield, Ll. D.” Rev. Enfield is a colleague of mine, having served as minister to Cairo Street Chapel from 1770 to 1785. I read this poem while sitting in Aikin’s elbow-chair, which still graces the front of our chapel.
In this excerpt from the poem – which has a bit of a Shakespearean flavour, both due to the pentameter and the philosophical subject matter – Aikin considers the various paths of life available to us in life: contemplation, wonderment in nature, activity in business, and so on – and ponders which may be the right one, if any path of life can be said to the best. Not coming to any firm conclusions, he closes the poem counting his blessings in life: words of love, inspiration within us, and friendship – the remembrances of friends in our life, and even better yet, the friend entire”, i.e. having those friends with us. The full poem can be read at John Aikin, “Epistle to Rev. Enfield”

Here’s the excerpt:

What, then, is man’s chief bliss? to lift the soul,
By lonely contemplation, to the source
Of good and fair, with Reason’s essence pure
To feed the thought; and on the trivial scene
Of sublunary things look down unmnv’d,
Self-honour’d, self-dependent or to call
Each potent energy to active use,
And urge the flying moments with the weight
Of strong exertion, pressing ardent on
To some bright point of distance, or to steal
With loitering foot along the vale obscure,

And pluck gay flowers, and dally with the time
In careless sport, and song, and converse sweet,
Delightful interchange ! or, plodding on,
With rule in hand, with grave and measur’d step,
To pace the level, line-drawn avenue,
Where business, meals, and sleep, in order due,
Like shrubs and statues in a Dutchman’s walk,
Succeed unvaried? Say, in which of these,
The paths of human life, her fairy tread
Has Happiness imprinted? Shall we try,
By beating wide the ground, to catch a glimpse
Of the still-flying phantom; or pursue
With heedful diligence one chosen track?

For me, whom Fate has destin’d to the round
Of sober business, and as sober joys ;
Whose roving wing is dipt ; whose eager eye,
Agaze for distant wonders, must contract
Its narrowed focus to a map and book ;

Who, for the vivid flash of living wit
And voice-clad eloquence, must court the beams
That shine in faint reflection from the page;
How shall I best preserve the genial flame
Alive within my breast? How trim the lamp
And clear from gathering dregs and vapours dim ?

Soon, soon, the brief delights ot sense must fail

And buoyant spirits, from the rapid tide
Of youthful blood evolv’d, wax tame and dull.
What then shall save me from the palsying grasp
Of cold Indifference, leagued with sick Disgust,
Slack Listlessness, and sullen Melancholy!
Terrific group! Will poring o’er the leaves
Of sage Philosophy, with elbow chair,
Fire side, and winking taper, chase away

These black intruders? Ah! too well I know,
Already know, how hang the heavy hours
Of studious indolence that only seeks
In thoughts of other men to lose its own.

Then shall I seize the quill? screw high each chord
That vibrates in the brain; dilate the breast
With mighty heavings; rouse the throbbing heart
With keen emotions; touch with noble fire,
And pour the glowing torrrent on the page ?
Or, arm’d with patient industry, lead on
To slow maturity some fair design,
The child of use and knowledge, which may stand
A monument for ages such as thine.
Where learning, sense, and lucid order, clad
In clear expression, frame a perfect whole.
Or rather, pens and books thrown far aside,
Relume Ambition’s fire, with desperate plunge
Rush in the crowd, and elbowing on my way
Thro’ friends, thro’ foes, and fierce Contention’s din,
Catch at some gilded prize, some meteor gay,
And, having touch’d it drop!

Thus void of certain aim, not straying wide,
Perplex’d, not lost, I take my dubious way.
And wilt not thou a friendly arm extend
To point my footsteps, and with cheering voice
Exhort to steadfast march and hold advance ?
Long, in the prime of manhood, side by side
We ran, and joy’d to give the mutual hand
In paths obscure and rugged : sever’d now
I miss the dear companion of my road,
And wander lonely. Yet, what Fate allows,
Let me noc want; the frequent words of love,
The prudent counsel, admonition kind,
And all the freeoVfiowings of the soul,
In letter’d intercourse; and, sometimes, too,
More valu’d, as more rare, the Friend entire.

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Your Monday Blessing: The Tree and the Doctor

You’ve probably heard the one about the tree who went to the doctor. “It’s bad, doc,” said the tree.

“I see. What seems to be the trouble?” the doctor asked.

“I should have come in weeks ago, doc, when it wasn’t – well – like this. When it had just started. I was getting out of the shower, when I noticed that one or two of my leaves were off colour. No big deal, I thought. I’m not gonna go running to the internet at the first little symptom of nothing in particular. It’ll pass, I told myself.

But then the next day it was five leaves. Then ten. Red, orange, breaking out all over my leaves. I knew it was bad when my neighbours noticed it, asked if I was OK. It’s nothing, I said. I’m just a bit under the weather, that’s all.

But then – I hate to even say this, it’s so bad – THEY got it too. It spread all around my friends and family. And, of course, everyone blamed me, obviously I was the origin. Oh, I felt so awful, doc! All the looks I got, they could have frozen fire. I was consumed with guilt.

I should have come to you then, doc. Of course I should have, I was bright red, for goodness sakes! I meant to, I did – but I just kept going to work in the morning, ignored all the signs as best I could. But then, you wouldn’t believe, if it weren’t right in front of you: my leaves started to fall off. I mean, first one or two, I said, well that happens, wind or whatever, you’ve got a lot of leaves, brush yourself off and keep going. But then it’s more and more leaves, until – well, just look at me. I’m a complete mess!

You gotta help me, doc. You must have a cure for all this!”

The doctor took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do.”

“Nothing?” asked the tree. “You’ve never seen this before.”

“Oh, I have,” the doctor said sadly. “My dissertation was on this very topic. It’s fairly common, you understand, what you’re going through. And I thought I could do something about it. I really did, I tried. After many, many years of research, after many long days and late nights, I developed a medicine to treat your…condition.”

The tree noticed the sadness in the doctor’s timbre. “It didn’t work, did it?”

“At first, nothing happened, and I thought it was a total failure. But then, a few months later – the leaves came back, just as green as before.”

“That’s fantastic!” said the tree. “Count me in!”

“It’s no use,” the doctor responded. “A few months after that – after we all had broken out the champagne – well, all the leaves changed back. Just like before. And they all fell off.”

“Oh. But then – that’s not terrible, is it? Couldn’t you just give it to me again every year? I get it, these things wear out after a while –”

“If only that were all it was,” said the doctor. “But after 20, 150 years – and sometimes only five years,” at this the doctor suppressed a sob, “not just the leaves, but the branches fell off! Inside, the wood would rot. Many of my patients became…I can’t say it…nothing more than stumps. Oh, I’m so sorry!”

The doctor dissolved into such a flood of tears that, right in front of the tree, she folded over in grief. The tree, who had been so focussed on her own problems up until that point, felt such a rush of sympathy that she reached out a branch and, ever so gently, patted the doctor on the back.

“There, there, doc. There, there. Don’t worry about the medicine – tell you what I’ll do. While these leaves are changing colour, I’ll sing to the birds, I’ll shout, I’ll wave at everyone who comes by. If the leaves are gonna come down anyway, I’ll throw the leaves as far as I can, scatter them like confetti. And why all this is happening, I’ll dance, dance, DANCE in the breeze.”

The doctor looked up at the mighty tree. “Will that solve it, do you think?”

“It will solve nothing. And it will solve everything.”

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Your Monday blessing: Prayer for Discomfort

I have a prayer that my discomforts might not be trivial.

See, the thing is, I KNOW I’m going to seek comfort. Most of us do naturally, to some degree, and I DEFINITELY do. And I’m not castigating myself over the fact that I like eating Ramen noodles, with hot sauce and reading a good novel (ok, fine – reading a good website) on the sofa. I yearn for comfort pretty often. I’m fine with that. After forty years, I’ve become more and more accustomed to who I am. And I find I’m really quite likeable, on the whole, if a bit lovably ridiculous.

I also know I’ll be UNCOMFORTABLE with a somewhat predictable regularity. This may have less to do with a perennially changing world, than it has to do with the fickle world of my inner motivations. When it comes to finding things to upset my own equilibrium, there are not enough mattresses in the castle to separate this princess from his pea. Sooner or later, I will feel the twinge. And this is how it happens that I find myself composing long, angry, cleverly constructed rants to the makers of FruitShootBingo, castigating them – in a knowingly ironic sort of way – on their reliance on in app purchases.

I don’t want to compose long, angry, cleverly constructed rants to the makers of FruitShootBingo. At least, not beyond the amount necessary to the charming quixotism of a full life. I don’t mind being the sort of person who does this occasionally – a sort of silly avenger of the things that ain’t broke. But I don’t want to get into any serious habits here. No, the bulk of my time should go elsewhere.

And the fortunate thing is that it’s fairly easy to arrange a life where there’s a good chance that my discomforts might be put to good use. This is NOT accomplished through the regulation of my emotions. Literature is full of examples of how this never works, and so is the literature of my life. Emotions love a command, but only because it gives them something they can get angry at. No, the able fisherman does not herd fish. One will come, and then another. If they stop coming, she checks her pole, and if that doesn’t work, she prays for the pond.

No, rather than discipline my emotions into shape, the strategy I adopt now is, first of all, to try and put myself in a place where my inevitable discomforts will latch on to something meaningful. When I say “put myself in a place”, I mean first and foremost where my body is, and secondarily where my mind and empathy find themselves. I try to spend time with the poor, including the poor in spirit (it helps that it’s written into the job description). I get to know the lives of others. I read the news, but try not to read it so much that it becomes a spectator sport (and if I fail at that – which I usually do – try not to make a spectator sport the centre of my life). I cultivate the power in me to be helpful. And I keep asking the question, “is my discomfort serving anyone here?”

And so, I try to put myself in places where my discomforts may come to good use. I walk into difficult rooms, where emotional trials and tribulations await me, so that I might be the instrument of a peace far larger than myself. This is a bit challenging for me – instinctually, far from embracing positive discomforts, I shrink from discomfort (even the discomforts I myself create!). It’s helpful to remember that the discomforts will come into my life anyway. So I might as well choose the context for these discomforts to arise.

The other strategy I adopt – returning to the top – is to live a life of prayer. By this I don’t just mean saying prayers regularly, although I do try to remember to do this. It means taking time to pause and reflect, and not always living in the moment-to-moment of life. Not getting too caught up in where I am right now, which may not be where I am tomorrow. The life of prayer is the larger life, the life that acknowledges the may-yet-be and lives between the certainties of human experience. And so I return to prayer, the ocean which sways the ship back and forth.

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